Kitchen Table Scratch
Reminders of all my failures.
IM LAUGHING SO HARD RN I WAS TALKING TO MY CRUSH FROM 5TH GRADE AND WE HAVENT SEEN EACH OTHER FOR LIKE 5 YEARS AND HE WAS LIKE “DID U KNOW I DATED KATY A” IM CRYING I DATED HER TOO WHAT DO I SAY
update i told him i dated her too and he asked me if i was bi and i said yes and he said “oh i am too” and wE DATED THE SAME GUY AND THE SAME GIRL AND NOW WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HOW SEXY DEAN WINCHESTER IS IM GONNA MARRY THIS GUY
Dag strikes again
Over the years my family has created a sly mythical creature named Dag. When socks went missing in the dryer or we couldn’t find the main ingredient in something we’d been waiting to make all week, we always claimed “Dag nabbed it”, a play on the phrase “dagnabit”.
Dag became a creature that wreaked havoc at inopportune times. Each time my Aunt came to visit, the bathroom light would stop working, without fail, and sometimes the everything in the bathroom stopped working altogether. We always said Dag must be up to something. He’s somewhat of a family curse.
Today my mom texted me to say after a string of inconvenient happenings, she woke up and the pipes fell off her car this morning. She said Dag had been at her house for sometime. She told him to leave. This morning my apartment started flooding- apparently he lives with me now.